I was sniffling for the entire morning and afternoon ydae and I was feeling so lousy about my nose and cough that I've decided to walk out of my house and meet a friend for a church service.
It was really an amazing service because the most exciting part of the service was actually the sermon time! It was a very timely message for me. In the midst of uncertainty, God actually spoke to me through the Pastor. It takes all courage to believe God's rhema voice, by faith. This is just because that He knows that I need His voice at this very moment.
He asked that all should step out in faith, let out the nets into the water for a BIG BIG catch! I know that God is just such an awesome God because He knows what I need even before I ask Him.
I am overwhelmed by His love for me, simply because I am who I am.
I don't need to be someone else that I am not. I just need to be real before Him.
In fact, when I was listening to the sermon, I felt so not at ease... because God is making me so uncomfortable.. every single word spoke a a real tangible way.
I think I really need to walk by faith and not by sight.
Yes, Tricia, take steps of faith towards Him and He will make all your paths straight because You are simply following after Him. :)
A more complete family photo that I have in my PC... These were taken during my sister's wedding in 2006...
The row at the back are my family members. The first from left is my eldest uncle, followed by third uncle, my bro, my mum, my sister and my brother-in-law. You must be wondering where am I? I also dunnoe.. maybe busy socializing with my friends.... I missed my eldest uncle dearly... It has been 2 years since he left us... He was so fragile but yet, he gave us the great joy everytime he visits us. He was like a father to me...
Oh ya, the ones sitting down are - (From the left) my third uncle's girlfriend, my ex-neighbour and her son, YongJie, followed by my kindergarten friend's parents. My mum ended befriending my kindergarten friend's parents instead of me with my classmate. Strange isn't it?
These are my immediate family members. My youngest nephew was still in the tummy of my sis-in-law... I hope to bring an impact to everyone's life here.
The more i seek you, the more i find you The more i find you, the more I love you
C:I wanna sit at your feet drink from the cup in your hand. Lay back against you and breath, feel your heart beat This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand. I melt in your peace, it's overwhelming (From Top)
No clouds in my storms Let it rain, I hydroplane in the fame (eh-eh) Coming down with the Dow Jones When the clouds come we gone, we Rocafella(eh-eh) We fly higher than weather and G5s are better, you know me in anticipation, for precipitation. Stack chips for the rainy day Jay, Rain Man is back with little Miss Sunshine Rihanna where you at?
[ Rihanna ] You had my heart And we'll never be worlds apart Maybe in magazines But you'll still be my star Baby cause in the dark You can't see shiny cars And that's when you need me there With you I'll always share Because
[ Chorus ] When the sun shine, we shine together Told you I'll be here forever Said I'll always be your friend Took an oath I'ma stick it out till the end Now that it's raining more than ever Know that we'll still have each other You can stand under my umbrella You can stand under my umbrella (Ella ella eh eh eh) Under my umbrella (Ella ella eh eh eh) Under my umbrella (Ella ella eh eh eh) Under my umbrella (Ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)
These fancy things, will never come in between [ Find more Lyrics at www.mp3lyrics.org/af ] You're part of my entity, here for infinity When the world has took it's part When the world has dealt it's cards If your hand is hard, together we'll mend your heart. Because :
[ Chorus ]
When the sun shine, we shine together Told you I'll be here forever Said I'll always be a friend Took an oath I'ma stick it out till the end Now that it's raining more than ever Know that we'll still have each other You can stand under my umbrella You can stand under my umbrella (Ella ella eh eh eh) Under my umbrella (Ella ella eh eh eh) Under my umbrella (Ella ella eh eh eh) Under my umbrella (Ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)
You can run into my arms It's okay don't be alarmed Come into me There's no distance in between our love So go on and let the rain pour I'll be all you need and more Because
[ Chorus ] When the sun shine, we shine together Told you I'll be here forever Said I'll always be a friend Took an oath I'ma stick it out till the end Now that it's raining more than ever Know that we'll still have each other You can stand under my umbrella You can stand under my umbrella (Ella ella eh eh eh) Under my umbrella (Ella ella eh eh eh) Under my umbrella (Ella ella eh eh eh) Under my umbrella (Ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)
It's raining,raining Ooh baby it's raining,raining Baby come into me Come into me It's raining,raining Ooh baby it's raining,raining you can always come into me, come into me It's pouring rain, It's pouring rain Come into me, come into me It's pouring rain, It's pouring Come into me, Come into me
25-26"So—who is like me? Who holds a candle to me?" says The Holy. Look at the night skies: Who do you think made all this? Who marches this army of stars out each night, counts them off, calls each by name —so magnificent! so powerful!— and never overlooks a single one?
27-31Why would you ever complain, O Jacob, or, whine, Israel, saying, "God has lost track of me. He doesn't care what happens to me"? Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening? God doesn't come and go. God lasts. He's Creator of all you can see or imagine. He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath. And he knows everything, inside and out. He energizes those who get tired, gives fresh strength to dropouts. For even young people tire and drop out, young folk in their prime stumble and fall. But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, They run and don't get tired, they walk and don't lag behind.
The Message version simply blows me off... God lasts. :D
It has been almost a year since we last visited Maesot in Thailand. It is kind of a feeling and it is indescribable. The warmth, the love and the unity. I just miss the life of simplicity in Thailand. The love that they have for the Lord is tremendous. Their lives speak of sacrifice, wholeheartedness and glorification unto the Lord. I really miss their presence.
It is only when people who willingly give of their time, talents and treasures, then will they be able to be satisfied in the Lord. Ultimately, we are just living in this temporary place call "earth" and we have greater things ahead to be blessed with.
Seriously speaking, I know that many will say that going back to Thailand to serve in missions will not help you in looking at a greater perspective elsewhere. But to me, re-visiting Thailand always encompass me to learn new things in new perspectives.
In fact, we will never learn enough.
Still, my fav pic of missions.
The granny and her grand-daughter...
This picture of the family in the church is the first pic that I took when I reached the village. Lovely family... :p
My twin in Thailand..
My family in Maesot...
There are more lives on earth for us to win over to the Lord than we could ever imagine. If only we would step out of our comfort zone... we will never be able to realize how much impact we can bring to the people at all corners of the globe.
In John 8:1-11, Jesus illustrated a very good example when the adulteress was being caught by the Pharisees and they wanted to stone her to death. But Jesus was wise and says in verse 7, “"If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." Jesus is so wise and that it is so true that no one is credible enough to condemn anyone because we are all sinners in one way or another. That is why Jesus came for the sick and not the healthy because it is the sick that needs the doctor, isn’t it? If anyone is perfect and sinless, that would only be Jesus.
In the incident of Mike, I was reflecting about the pros and cons. We can only point finger at him, rebuke, correct or even condemn as the Pharisees did. However, will that ever benefit anyone? Will this ever help Mike to come out of his slumber?
In fact, I affirm his courage to confess his sins. After 16 years of bondage, after 2 years of cover up, he knew that there is a lot of consequences that he got to bear after all the lies that he has told. It ain’t easy for him either. But yes, he took that responsibility to confess and repent. With that act, he does have the heart of wanting to turn around. The question is not why didn’t he repent earlier? The question should be why the world’s attention is turned on his sin instead of God’s mercy and forgiveness.
If Jesus is physically with us today, He would have affirmed Mike, encouraged him and ask him to move on. He would have taken meals with him, spend time with him and help him overcome his distress. Jesus is credible. He loves us all and He would definitely hug Mike and grant him this thing call “forgiveness”.
I am not disclaiming the fact that we should disregard the entire saga, forgive him and forget about the entire incident. Yes! He needs to be responsible over all the impact that he has caused in such a time as this. He needs to ask for forgiveness and he needs to give up many of his rights and choose to be humble once and again! But we need to be responsible Christians that seek to display Christ-like character in this. Not to condemn, not to judge and not to criticize. We ought to forgive, ought to love and ought to pray for Mike and his family. I can imagine the kind of distress, pressure and uncertainties that the family is facing. I felt sad for them. I can sense God’s compassion for this family. They have been faithful servants all this generation and they did not even anticipate this to happen. But yet, I do believe that they still love God wholeheartedly.
Let us give time and grace for this family and all who have fallen, should be picked up again because God favors those who change and repent.
Who doesn’t sin? In fact, we are all sinners! Who doesn’t fall? In fact, we are all fallen short of God’s perfect glory? Who doesn’t need a second chance? We all need that second chance? In fact, some of us need more chances than others.
And for his song, Healer, it is biblical and it is true. It exalts God’s name and God’s attributes. Why stop singing it? The song is still a song of worship unto God. It all depends on the heart of the worshiper.
The Christian newswires are abuzz today, because a big earthquake hit Melbourne with its epicentre down at Planetshakers. Michael Guglielmucci confessed that his battle with terminal cancer has all been a lie. Alun Davies immediately suspended his ministerial credentials.
Now begins a long and painful exercise of self-examination. And I’m not talking about Michael… that goes without saying. I’m talking about Planetshakers and about the AOG. The obvious question is this: How could no-one have known? Not even family! What kind of “system” can promote someone to such a place of influence and yet can fail to enforce a regime of accountability and scrutiny?
The thing about the Christian church in general, and Pentecostalism in particular, is that its history is littered with stories of fallen heroes. And this is not something to speak of lightly. It is very very painful stuff from which people never fully recover. People trust religious leaders like they trust very few other people and when one falls, it leaves a deep and very painful wound that will always leave a scar.
I know of a brilliant “man of God” who after decades cannot return to the congregation from which he was expelled for a matter of sexual indiscretion. Time heals a wound, but it doesn’t restore trust… not fully.
In a place like Planetshakers this kind of catastrophe will impact different people in different ways. For some it will not challenge just their trust in leadership… it will challenge their spirituality, their faith. That’s just what happens.
But see, the thing is… we KNOW that’s what happens. It’s happened many times before! And it will happen again.
So why don’t we learn from the massive damage of past leadership failures, and expect (and demand) a level of accountability and transparency from our leaders? I simple ask this: How many church leaders in this country — and in Pentecostalism in particular — have explicit structures of accountability and transparency in their lives and ministries so that it would be extremely extremely hard for them to get away with immoral behaviour for any length of time?
To leaders who resist these kinds of structures and strictures, I’d say… tough! It’s a very high call, so deal with it. It’s the price you pay to honour God and to honour the seriousness of your position of influence and leadership.
We’ve had too much spiritual abuse. Too many (especially young) people have been burned beyond recognition. Surely the least we can do is wise up to what’s going on here! And not to make too fine a point of it, I find it is almost a feature of Pentecostalism that the more senior a leader becomes, the more unconstrained his movements become; the more unaccountable we allow him to be.
Why did Michael not feel safe enough to confess his fraud to an intimate friend and co-leader, ages ago? Why did he find himself promoted to senior leadership, all the while carrying this deep inner turmoil, that never came out?
The answers to these questions should be none of our business. But they are when they spill out and hurt so many people. And spare a thought (and prayer) for the Guglielmucci family. Hurt indeed.
Never mind cancer of the human body. There is a cancer of the Body of Christ here and it’s called leadership. Even in Pentecostalism we are far more man-centric than Spirit-centric. We place so much on human leadership and so little on Spirit-leadership, and this sort of debacle is the fruit of it.
And lest you think it has anything to do with the size of a church, it doesn’t. Homechurch or Megachurch… leadership abuse and failure hurts people just as much in either case.
I, for one, have so much respect for Ps Danny, Michael’s dad. I can’t imagine his and his family’s pain right now. I’ll be praying for them.
Meanwhile, I hope the shockwaves of this earthquake lead to better “construction methods” in the structures of church leadership, designed to make sure it’s much much harder for a leader to fall like this again.
THE father of fallen pastor Michael Guglielmucci, Danny, read this brief statement to a packed congregation to explain his son's actions.
"Today is a very sad day for our family and church family.
For many years our son, Michael has suffered from unexplained illnesses. We have been worried as we have seen him suffer and spend periods of time in hospital.
Two years ago our lives were totally turned around by the sad news of our sons' cancer diagnosis. The love and support shown by our local church and all of our many friends around the world helped us get through a very difficult situation.
During the last two years we have experienced the favor of God, his love and grace, and also the constant pain of the possibility of losing a son.
On Tuesday 12th of August we received a call to come and meet with Mike and Amanda but weren't ready for what we were about to hear. Mike began to share how he has lived a lie for the last 16 years of his life because of addictive behavior he couldn't break free from.
He loved God and would throw himself into prayer, worship, and serving God with full energy and enthusiasm but still couldn't break free.
In September in 2006, Mike had an accident and went to hospital. It was at this time, because of his torment of living a double life, Mike thought he could escape the pain by creating a diversion from his addiction to adult pornography, so he created the cancer scenario.
The pain of this addiction was so deep that he started something he couldn't stop and proceeded on a downward spiral that led to him experiencing pain and suffering that resulted in constant vomiting and many other symptoms of a genuine sufferer.
Sharonne and I witnessed these episodes and pained and wept over his suffering. Michael wrote the song Healer because he wanted God to set him free from his addiction but hid it behind the lie of a fabricated illness.
Once he had started down this track he felt he couldn't stop so he continued to act out this sickness, feeling he had gone too deep into the lie.
I can't begin to tell you how much this is hurting us on the inside. A few weeks ago Mike had a dream of Jesus on the cross looking down on him saying, 'the truth will set you free' and so he decided to confess and bring everything out into the open.
I immediately contacted our National Executive and submitted to their advice and council. Church, our family needs your prayers at this time. We are so, so sorry to bring you into this.
I have lead you with openness and integrity and declare that we have not lived a lie before you. We fully understand the questions, shock, disbelief and even anger you may feel over this announcement. Please pray for us and we will pray for you.
Michael is struggling with a different kind of illness and is receiving professional help and will do so as long as is needed. On the council and advice of our executive and board, after our up and coming Edge conference, we will take time to be with Mike and get him all the professional and spiritual help he needs to come to full recovery.
We have an amazing team. Thank you, executive, board, staff and church, for your love and support. We will do what is right before God and man and see this situation turned around for the glory of God. We love you. "
Last night, we had our dinner with Pastor and the rest of the leaders at Chiang Mai Palace. It was pretty unusual to have a meeting and celebration at a restaurant, especially when it was held for 70+ leaders. However, we had our fair share of fun, laughter and sharing together.
The pastoral staff went through a lot of pains to think of how to get the leaders to mingle together more. So, they planned the seating arrangements so that we cannot change our seats... hmm, sounds very wedding dinner right? Ok, in this way, I think it really forces us to get to know people from other districts? =)
Anyway, we had a few announcements and good news for the pastoral ministry and we were all very much excited about it! And indeed, God has poured in so much growth in our ministry and we really are very much excited about what God is going to do next in our midst. Yes, serious work in the Kingdom of God! yeap...
So for now, just a few pics for you to see... :P
Jean and Me... I knew Jean way way back in 1996, when I just got to know the Lord. We were on bus 166 back to our AMK homes, and she shared with me a very nice Christian story, "The Room" and also the 4 different personalities. She is a very smart gal and I really love her presence...
Games time!
My table... of CLs... the lady seated next to me is Jieyun. :) The 2 brothers are Nicholas (forefront of picture) and Jinghe, seated next to Nic.
We were all trying very hard to play icebreaker games... but somehow, the games caused more ice? hahaha... cos I was speaking what Jieyun indicated as "寒语" (han2 yu3), which meant "cold language"... haha... silly me!
Glad to catch up with Jieyun once again! It was really a good time!! :)
I was roped in to do ushering last minute for the Hope Premier League... It has been a long long time since I last ushered... I thought that ushering is actually quite fun. Maybe I should join the ushering ministry since this ministry is in need of people? haha...
So what about the finals for HPL? Hmm, obviously, the team that I supported "FC2024" lost... But it was really a very nerve breaking game man...
But to me, FC2024 will always be the winners in their spirit, in attitude and in love of cos. :)
Here are some pics that I took with the people I met at the HPL... enjoy!!
Yanz n Michie
NG7 Supporters... Hohoho...
Wenjun n Davin
Mr and Mrs Leung
Elaine, Yanz and Nic... Both of them are moi ex-shepherds...
Jiayi...
Uncle AO and Jiayi...
Sweetie meimei, shuping...
The wonderful chefs behind the food...
Jeremy Choo...
Reagan and uncle...
The Tan family...
Germs, Sarah and Aloy
my Nemesis and Shuz...
Ronnie and Biqing...
Junyao, Livi and Dewen...
Yanz and Junyao...
Dewen, Yanz and Junyao (the GESS guys...)
Shirls and JX
Shirls, Yanz and JX... (dunnoe wat AO is doing at the back... diaoz...)
My ex-shepherd, priscilla and Shirls (my ex-part-time shepherd)
Managed to catch up with my secondary school frens last Sat over dinner, to celebrate Liping's birthday! It is just so scary... cos we have knew one another for 14 years since sec 1! I wonder how come secondary school friends are always closer than primary school or poly? I think it is because we all experience the many new things together...
For the past 13-14 years, we haven't been really in touch and I can say that things have changed. People have changed. Mindsets have changed. Values have changed. As we met up more, I realized that there are many things that I might not be one the same page as they are. We have different goals and principles in our lives. But no matter how tough it gets, just to know and understand one another better, I seriously hope to love my friends with all my heart. To the best that I can, the limited availability that I can fork out of my tight schedules, I would love to spend more time with them and influence them to the best that I can.
Just watched this movie on Sat night. Like many others, they won't watch it because they thought that it is the same kind of jokes, same kind of drama.. nothing much... and nothing fantastic to expect from a Singapore produce but I was wrong! For a local movie, it seriously has touched the hearts of the local singaporeans, the heartlanders, the simple people who are struggling to survive in this place that requires such high cost of living - Singapore.
Yesh, some parts were lame but many parts were just so moving. I think it really changed my perspective about Jack Neo's movie. It is simply awesome! Simple but yet awfully wonderful!! I cried during the movie, believe it anot! This movie has gave me reminders about myself, my family and my simplicity.
I think Jack Neo is simply such a fantastic movie-maker. God has given him a talent to see things beyond the underlying hearts, frowns and headaches of people. It all happened because he wants to see things happen and he did it.
I think it is time to watch this show and get yourself reminded of some real stuff in your life. :)
Last weekend was a pretty slow one for me. Saturday was flooded with heavy downpour, sun, drizzling rain, cold wind etc... The weather has forced me to stay home for the whole morning and early afternoon. I have got no choice any way. So I stayed at home and took a short nap... But besides catching up on my sleep, I was thinking about my life. Why have I so much negative thoughts in me? Why am I constantly filled with complaints and discontentment? So this reflection went on for a while.
Still again, on Sunday, Ps Jeff's sermon spoke to me once again. I think God has a timely way of reminding people of things and re-emphasizing on matters that He wants to learn and grow in. Ps Jeff's illustration on "the atmosphere that you bring with you..." certainly struck a chord in my heart. I was definitely convicted that the atmosphere that I bring with me might not be the best one. I should continue to inspire others to be joyful and loving, not with negative thoughts or feelings.
So that gave me a good enough reason to work on the "atmosphere" in Tricia.
In fact, why am I still dissatisfied? I should be more than glad right? I have friends who stood by me when I was down, discouraged, unwell etc... I have a shepherd that gives to me more than the usual of other shepherds. I have sheep that cares for me. I have friends that really want to help me to grow. I have all that I need. And most importantly, I have a God that loves me and cares for me, forgives me when I do wrong, accepts me when I am weak, helps me to fulfill my potential and gives me the best that I can handle.
Shouldn't I be glad and thankful?
It is really good to reflect and think back about life. What else should I ask for but that God's favor to be upon me everyday of my life.
Yes, I will trust and believe God for His greatest blessings in me.
I haven't enjoyed meeting up with people for a long long time... especially when it comes to meeting people that I used to take care of, I will be especially enthusiastic. I have been feeling rather nostalgic recently (as u can see from my previous few entries..) and therefore, I made an effort to meet arrange a meet-up with 2 of my ex-sheep from CG in Youth and I remember very clearly that the CG's name was HSA6 and HSA12. Yes... the CGs were so many last time in the Youth that one unit can have 12 CGs... and one CG can be as big as 20 people?? haha...
These 2 sheep were in my core-team and they really kena a lot of shepherd's pies from me... I used to be a very strict and serious shepherd and leader, so serious that I can always correct them day in day out (Dewen can testify to this... hahaha...) But these 2 gals really are very obedient, sweet and teachable. Geok Eng was from Tanjong Katong Sec and Jialin was from Tanjong Katong Girls. The uniforms that they wore have one thing in common - they are both green in color. That explains why I am so in love with green last time too.. (cos Gan Eng Seng Sec's uniform was also in GREEN!! haha...)
We had a very good catchup yesterday at Miss Clarity Cafe at Purvis Street. The food was quite nice and the atmosphere was fantastic. Majority of the youths & "older youths" like me were there for catch-ups... haha... When I first got to know Jialin, she was only 12 yrs old and Geok Eng, 13. They were both in sec 1s and we were outreaching to the fresh sec 1s in TK and TKGS. They were like quite cute cos they are very blur and I was just so happy to outreach to these kids. The days at Joo Chiat was memorable and we had many wonderful memories over there. The celebrations, joy, tears and struggles... all in all were beautiful.
Today, after a good 10 years, we caught up and both of them are doing well in their jobs and in their ministries in church. I am so so blessed by these 2 girls. I am so glad that they have grown so much in the Lord and are still pursuing God today. Jialin was telling me that she is very amazed at how I managed to contact and keep in touch with the TKGS girls that were once in the CG. I told her that I was amazed at myself too. But somehow, I thought that this will be one thing that I want to do, that is to bring them back to the Lord.
My gosh, whenever I thought of these students that I once led in the sheep-pen, my heart simply weeps because many of them are already not in church and not with God. I hope that God will use me to bring them back to Him again.
Anyway, this is supposed to be a happy blog entry... so better not turn it the other way. So enjoy the pictures ya? *We seriously had loads of fun yesterday... picturing one another with 3 digital cameras... hahaha... enjoy!!
Jialin n Yanz
Yanz and Geok Eng
Jialin and Geok Eng
My corny face... haha...
Acting slim again? (fat hope... hahaha...)
Sheep and Shepherd...
This is the last pic we took at SMU bus-stop... hope that our friendship will be stronger as the years go by! More days to go babes!!
