Friday, January 30, 2004

MiNiStEreD bY GoD!

Yes!! I'm so ministered by the Almighty last night during our last GN3 CG. Before the ministering by God, I was really burdened in many areas of my life, especially my job area. But as I think back of what happened last night, it was really amazing of how God led me into worshipping Him. (Lack of vocab... don't know how to describe.) Remembered so clearly that as we were worshipping God, God painted a vision of a man kneeling down before Him. He just spoke to me that someone in our midst needs to recognise God's presence in his life. I can't help but to lift up my hands and voice to worship Him. I didn't even open my eyes a single time during the worship. I just know that the spirit was leading and I've been led too. Never experienced such powerful worship in my life for a long long time. Well, perhaps, like what Jonaphine says, it's a contrite heart that God desires. Well, as we prayed in the spirit, I realised that we need to be activated in the spirit at all times, allowing God to work in us. It is such a powerful session that I was so awed that God visited us!! Now the song that I wrote came ringing back to me:
So touched by your grace
That it brought me to this day
I'm marvelled by your works
So touched by your grace
Your amazing saving grace
I want to lift my voice and praise your name
Isn't it amazing how God works sometimes? Especially this time round, GN3 is birthing out GN4 and guess what? I'll be going over to support Desmond (our new boss!!) together with Lirong, Mikka and James!! It's so exciting. No doubt it's kind of sad to leave GN3 but it is for a greater purpose and love for God that brings us to GN4. No doubt, I am very blessed to be in GN3 under the leadership of Alex. The whole group has blessed me a lot in spirit and in love. Pray that this will continue to flourish and grow in GN4. I believe that our group will grow!! ( By the grace of God, we are who we are and His grace to us is not without effect!!)

Tuesday, January 27, 2004

What About Chinese New Year?

Chinese New Year Eve
Had a great dinner with my family at a coffee shop... My mom decided that she shall not cook this year... that's why we ended up there. It took us 2 hours to have this reunion dinner, without my dad. The service wasn't fantastic. We had our Yu Sheng as the first dish, second was the steam fish, but it came only half an hour after we finished our Yu Sheng. My sister was so agitated at their ignorance of our table that she walked to the supervisor and asked why they didn't serve anything at our table after such a long time. Well, it was lousy service but a great time to spend with my mom, brother and sister-in-law, my nephew and niece and my sister of course. ;) But I wasn't able to focus on teh food as I was having stomachache throughout the whole dinner. Had diarreaoh after the dinner. I though I would have fainted then. But thank God, I pulled through that. hehe After that, I met up with Jonaphine to go to Guang Long's house to have a mini-gathering. Haha... the whole things turned out to be kind of funny as a lot of the guys didn't turn up except the sisters of our group. Hmm interesting gathering... we left at 11.15pm. Why? Cos Jonaphine mentioned that gals who are still single cannot stay out overnight on Chinese New Year Eve. haha... so gals out there reading my blog did u stay out that night?? Hmm then I added, "Well, that means if you stay out, you can't get married for life is it?" haha we all laughed our way home...
Chu Yi (First Day of CNY)
Slacked. Slacked. And still slacked. Nothing to do on the first day. Didn't go relatives' house as there's none to go. My mom's relatives are all in Malaysia. Only one or two in Singapore which were kind of inconvenient for us to go. Ate a lot of bak kwa (barbecued pork meat...) Yummy delicious!! In the afternoon, my boss suddenly called me , asking if we want to watch movie in the evening. Yups... I called up all the girls and hehe guess what, all girls turned up. :) Hmm both Jona and me concluded that all the girls in our group are more "cheong" than the guys as they are more family type lor... haha Watched "The Last Samurai". The show is cool, great and marvellous!! Tom Cruise is so good in his acting!! I was deeply touched by the spirit of the Samurais and their determination in the battle. No sign of fear on their faces, no regrets at all. Well, perhaps I should learn more from this show. Oh yar, one thing in common for this "The Last Samurai" and "The Lord Of The Rings, The Return Of The King", all bowed down to the heroes of the battles... hehe... After that we went to Jona's house for a mahjong session. Haha we didn't managed to complete the whole full round of Dong, Nan, Xi and Bei. Only Dong then we gave up liaoz... Shumin and Matthew joined us at 11 plus... then after that they sent us back to Northpoint and me back home... gheese... so nice of them... ;)
Chu Er (Second Day of CNY)
Let me think... what did I do on Chu Er? Oh I remembered!! I woke up at 12 plus... saw my hp's sms. My ex-shepherd, Nicole, msged me to go her house to "Pai Nian". then I washed up and rushed to her house. By the time I reached there was already 2 plus liaoz. Had a great time talking to her. Thereafter, I went with her to Shuzhen and Shuping's house to pai nian too. Hmm saw quite a few High School students there. I saw a lot of photos that Shuzhen kept. Was pretty touched as I saw myself in the photos. I came a long way (as Ps Jeff has always told me). I really thank God for all these things that happened in my life especially on the day I received Him as my Lord and Saviour. Can't believe it myself. It has been 7 years plus that I've stayed in Hope. Way to go!! Yeah!! After the visitation at Shuzhen/ping's house, I went to Edna's house for another Mahjong session. Haha, my pleasure to meet Edna's daughter, Mikko. Oops... this one year old plus golden retriever nearly scared me to death. Haha I'm fearful of dogs. But turned out that it is real scared of me man. We had fun of course at the Mahjong table and Desmond and Edna keep Hu-ing their game. Haiz... they really don't know how to give way one leh... haha
Chu San (Third Day of CNY)
Lirong and Josh came to my house to Pai Nian. As usual, the blur Josherine, had a good trip touring Yishun as she missed her stop. We were waiting for her at the bus-stop and she could actually miss us. Haha we had a nice little chat in my room. Then after that, I have to rushed down to my secondary school teacher's place to pai nian. Had a lot of thoughts and feelings when I met some of my ex-classmates up. It was kind of sad seeing them smoking after the visitation. After the visitation, I went to Bishan to buy something for Josh's Birthday and then went to Raffles City to meet up with Mikka. We went to Tim's house together in a cab. Then we had a charade game and a Macarena dance for Josherine. For more details, please visit haha very tiring to repeat everything. then we had time of affirmation for Josherine. It has always been good to affirm people. Build them up in spirit and in truth man!!
Chu Si (Fourth Day of CNY)
Yes, it's our Sunday Service again. Haha the praise don't seems to be like praise... hehe we sang Chinese New Year Songs... whenever they sing, "Gong Xi, Gong Xi, Gong Xi Ni" me and Jonaphine will laugh like crazy women... it's really funny. The sermon was great as Ps Ben gave us 8 Blessings from the gospel of Matthew, The Beattitudes. Learnt lots from the Word. After service, we went for a pool session at Orchard, the one besides Hello Singtel. It has been a long time since I last played pool. wah amazing... Hmm... nevertheless, I didn't managed to win any game as me and Josherine were in the same team and we were all rusting away in our pool skills. Haha...
Ok I have to stop here... or else it will be another "longest blog". See you guys... tomorrow I would have to start work liaoz... can't slack anymore. heehee... have another great 9 days of Chinese New Year.... Wishing all the best in this new year!!

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

Life is likE a BoX oF CHocOlaTes....

Life is so much like a box of chocolate... you never what will happen it for the very next moment? The chocolate might be eaten up by someone or something?
Yesh. I feel that life is so much like a box of chocolates. Especially mine. So many happenings. I ever wondered if one day I am to meet an accident, or have some kind of fatal illness or disease, what is going to happen to my family and friends and loved ones? Therefore, I wish I can bring them to Christ before I die. Though I'm still young but I still think that life is really short. I don't want to live a life with regrets. Actually I ever wanted to do a video clip of my life testimony so that it will be remembered by people as I get them to know about me, the ups and downs as well as my strengths and weaknesses in my life.
Well, accept the fact that my life and your life is not perfect and you can never find perfection in it, but we can slowly achieve bit by bit, the kind of perfection, especially life after knowing Christ. So are you working towards perfection of life now?? A life that will never end? Eternity? Infinity...

Monday, January 19, 2004

Today is a very quiet day with not much happenings. But for the past few days, things have been happening at a very fast pace. On Friday night, I met up with Jona for a shopping session at Causeway Point. Hmm it's kinda interesting because after going rounds and rounds, we only bought one short sleeve shirt each which we wore on Sunday. Hers is red and mine is black. But we did not plan this at all. Perhaps it is the frequency thingy that caused us to be so unique. Haha
On Saturday, went to the blood donation with jona and lirong. Only Jona donated but we didn't. Cos we are all sick and coughing, on medication etc... It is not an excuse for sure though I am quite fearful of the blood donation thingy. The needle is quite big you know. Haha... Anyway Jona keep claiming that someone is looking at her while she was in the centre donating her precious red fluid... haha I can only say that it's either the guy is quite giddy or Jona is too giddy during the donation. Oops... I think she is going to kill me!! Hehe
After blood donation thingy, I went to Tiong Bahru to meet up with my shepherd for shepherding. I was rather early. So went to shop around and bought a black pants for my upcoming Choir for church anniversary. Hehe so happy I bought it at half the price, which is $29.50. Heehee great savings leh!! Then met up with shepherd at 2 plus... she taught me about the fellowship of the mat, which was taught by Kelly. Will take chance to impart this teaching to my sheep (baabaa)... keke so Lirong, you have some more food coming liaoz....
After shepherding, I rushed down to Redhill to meet the Media people for a Media Family Day!! But to my surprise, I saw some WAM people there. Haha some very familiar faces though.... Had a great time laughing and playing games. As usual, I'm the most clumsy out of all as I dropped the tennis ball more than 3 times during one of the games. Hmm... guess that I've lost all my netball skills liaoz.
Yesterday, did my stage mixing with one of the sisters in church. Well, it's a great time at the backstage. Really love to do sound and worship God with my ministry as I serve Him. But I would even love to sing with all my heart to Him. Hmm... really excited about the 100 people choir that's coming this March, for our Church's 13th Anniversary (If I'm not wrong lar). Well, never really expect myself to be in it. Perhaps, it's God's grace that gave me chances after chances. Thank You Lord!!
Learnt something about voices from Alex's shepherding with Victor. I sat in and kay poh a bit lar... haha but thank God I really learnt a lot of things. Hmm Alex, if you happen to read this, I should say that your illustration and biblical sharing helped me a lot. do provide me with the materials that you promised ok? hehe...
Well as for my job, I have decided to tender latest by end of February. Hopefully I can get my bonus before I leave so that I can survive qithout a job for quite sometime. I'm sending out resumes already. Anyway I believe that God will give me a great job because he's not just the Provider but my Employer too!!

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

Disappointment, Discouragement and Distress

I made a BIG mistake again in the office!! Well, it's no simple mistake at all but yet it seems to be such a simple issue. Yesterday I was on MC, resting at home. Then when I left my house to go Suntec city to meet my insurance agent aka Sharon, my colleague called me up to tell me something. She told me that I've made a mistake for one of the quotation of printing for our new serial title named "Pawnshop No. 8". Well, it's actually a 4 volume serial title that we are supposed to print a total of 24,000 outer boxes. Which means some volumes might have more quantity and some might have lesser quantity. So the printer quoted me 24,000 pcs of outer boxes for an amount of $28,320.00. So when I took the the overall amount divided by 24,000, it costs about $1.18. So I asked him if this is the correct amount. He said that it is the correct amount and just need to take the $1.18 divide by 4 again. Well, thereafter I've gotten an unit cost of $0.295. But to my horror, my colleague told me that he went ahead and printed 24,000 of Volume 1 outer boxes. Well, to cut the story short, it's either my mistake or his or simple miscommunication.
My colleague did not tell me the exact quantity to print and I thought she will convey the printing quantity to my printer as she was doing the communication as well. I felt so dumb this morning when we doing a conference call with the supplier. Disappointment more than anything else. I know I will burst out in tears anytime but I just cannot. Because I have to put up a strong front. Well, I'm discouraged as I thought that my colleague will also recognize that it is part of her mistake as well. But well, in reality, though she did mention a bit that it is her mistake, but I felt as though the entire problem is my PROBLEM!! She claimed that why am I not logical enough to sense that the amount is wrong when the supplier ask me to divide the amount by 4 again. Whatever it is, I felt really at the bottom of my heart that I'm so lousy, lousy, lousy.
Well, my colleague told me that my GM feels that I'm not initiative enough. But what is my GM asking for? How to be initiative when my job scope require me to be initiative about things but just to follow about instructions. Well, she just don't simply don't like me. As simple as that. If that is the case, I really see no need to stay anymore. It is no point pleasing as there is no satisfaction in her eyes at all.
I have decided to tender at the end of January. I will not stay on anymore. By hook or by crook, I will get a new job by end of March. I just want to get out of this company soon. It's time for me to slim down and spend less. Like Jonaphine? If there is one things I should ask from God now, is that may God grant me a room for myself. Why isn't there space for me to cry out to God? I often wonder if I did make the right choice to shift back home. Many may not understand my urge to draw near to God. Perhaps, if you are reading my blog, you may think that I might be just too emotional or drawn away by my mood swings, but come on, don't you know that in many circumstances, I chose to rejoice instead of being in my deepest valleys?
A friend I need. A friend indeed? But where is my friends when I needed them most? Please tell me!! Who can be my listening ear besides God? I don't need advice. But just someone to listen to me. I don't need people to tell me the DOs and DON'Ts but someone that cares enough to show that little attention.

Is there anyone out there that cares to listen?!?

Friday, January 09, 2004

Company Restructuring?

Yes. It's time to restructure. Well, this morning I was helping my colleagues to shift things as our boss has decided to change their sitting arrangements. There my two cute colleagues go... one sitting opposite me now and one sitting much further away from me. I'm pretty upset cos there will be lesser chance for us to communicate. But I'm happy because my colleague Michelle most likely will be promoted. Happy for her!! Finally, she is going to another level. Well, as for me, I think I'll be given more tasks to do. Feel that I'm not really been groomed properly in this company. But nevertheless, I'm still learning. Never rejected that mentality at all. Hope that as the days go by, I will continue to gain more experience. Now, I'm not justing coordinating Shaw Brothers' Classics' titles but I'm doing Raintree, Disney, BVHE and some other independent titles as well. Though it seems that the job is quite interesting, but it has never been glamorous to me. Well, because there's a lot of work involved. And better still, some things that a diploma holder might not want to do.

I wish that I can continue to further study but it seems so far away. My results in poly might not be fantastic but it has never occured to me that I should stop studying. I'm just looking out for more miracles that God can work and create.

Wednesday, January 07, 2004

WAY TO SERVE: Leading Through serving and enabling
By Eddie Gibbs
It has been quite sometime since I read Christian Literature. But recently I bought something to revive my attitude in serving God. It's the title as mentioned above: WAY TO SERVE. I was at Life Bookshop last Sunday with some of my friends. And there I was browsing around and saw this book. People who know me well know that I will never spend money to buy Christian Literature to read. But this time round, it's a different case. I was comtemplating between which one to buy. My friend came over and ask,"Are you buying this?" and I answered, "See first lor." Then later on I told him, "Maybe I don't need this now" cos in my heart I was saying to myself that "I'm not a leader why should I learn how to serve like a leader?". Well, thereafter, I just don't know why, instead of spending the money to buy clothes that I need or to save for movies but I bought the book. Perhaps, deep within my heart I know that I am obeying the voice of the Holy Spirit. I read the first few pages already. It's a daily meditation. And I'm already in my 3rd day meditating on the way Abraham served in the OT.

A few things that I've learnt (in point form):
- "Leader" is just a designation. The primary role is "servant".
- Leadership is not a matter of control but of influence.
I got to go now. Share more with you guys about what I've learnt recently. Take care all!!

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

Evangelistic Concert

My mom just got an invitation from an ex-neighbour last Sunday for a concert at Singapore Expo. And guess what?? She knew that it is an event organised by my ex-neighbour's church but she still accepted the invitation. I'll be going with her on that night!! So exciting!! I know that my mom is going to know God soon. God really knows my burden man!! Well, this Saturday evening I'll be out for Ho Yeow-Sun's concert. My friend invited me for it and she's gonna pay for me. Hmm I think that it is going to be a very interesting concert. Never dislike her and disagree with her becoming a singer. But perhaps she really wants to influence the society but is too constrained by the terms and conditions set by the records company. Well, hope that she'll go strong for Christ!! A prayer point to note at this moment!! Please pray for Bee Na and her family. Hope that her family will come to know God soon. God always put situations in our lives so that we can be stretched in our faith and trust in Him. However, He'll never break that faith beyond our hearts' maximums. Do pray for Bee Na's friend, Jiahui to know God too. Thanks for bearing with me in all these prayer points. Prayers works even a thousand miles away. So those who are overseas, we'll not forget about you too. Weichuen and Adrian who can see my blog, I'll be keeping all of you in prayers and thoughts as well!! Miss you guys!! Cheers!!

Monday, January 05, 2004

Today is the first Monday of 2004. Everyone's tired after all the breaks, holidays and partying. I think almost all will feel the same way as me - holidays are never enough. Personally, I feel body aches all over. Maybe I didn't rest well enough. The office's atmosphere is so funny today. Defination of funny : Explosive, Frustration and Eruption. Just experienced two quarrels at the same timing. One is my company's secretary quarrelling and arguing with my colleague in Sales. He's a very senior one in our company. Another one is my Marketing Manager that shouted at my Creative colleague. At the same timing. This is headache. The whole environment is getting political. Well, I think this is going to be real serious case.
Anyway yesterday evening I had a very fun time going out with the twins and jx. Haha!! It's very fun to go out with them and I feel very myself. It's just me to joke and joke and joke. They kept suaning me but then, at a way that is not up to my limits. Though I was very tired then, but I think it's really nice to meet them up once in a blue moon.
Met up with my shepherd yesterday morning. She shared with me the meaning of setting resolutions for the new year. I told her that I've phobia of setting resolutions for the new year as I often failed to keep them. But this time round, after hearing from Candice, I'm going to start this new year all over again, knowing that I will try to be more flexible and realistic in my resolutions as well.
Yesterday's sermon was fantastic. It spoke right into my very heart. In the morning, I told God that I was very upset and confused with my past. Very specifically, I wrote this statement, "It hurts to remember. How I wish I'll just forget about everything and start life anew again." And there, the very anointed Pastor Ben Lee spoke about this, "Stop dwelling in the past." There I know this, "God there you go again. Everytime I'm in trouble, You always speak the things that are meant for me." I felt so assured and so confident that God is really holding my hands and walking me through this dark valleys. My favorite song goes like this, "Forgetting what lies behind, straining towards for the prize, always fixing our eyes on our Lord Jesus..." That is going to be one of my resolutions this year!!

Saturday, January 03, 2004

I'm now at home with my mom and niece. Watching the movie - The Source Of Love. My mom is watching it with me. She's identifying quite a lot of things with the storyline. Laughing and giggling away. Well, I hope that my mom will get to know God more this time round. Pray with me that she will really invite Jesus into her life soon. The only way that I can show her love is to bring her to Christ and to the eternity that God has planned for her to have.

Friday, January 02, 2004

First Day Of 2004

I had a very wonderful countdown for 2004. It's so exciting to meet the whole GN unit's people at Edwin's and Geok Moi's hse at Punggol. We had bbq food and lots of games at the sky garden... I think it's really a very good chance for the whole GN to mingle around with people from other CGs. Wrote words of encouragement to people in the CG with slips of papers and put them into Ang Pows. Very innovative of Kuan Loong to do that!! Food was good, thank God for Geok Moi who spent so much time preparing all these. Victor and James (GN2) did a wonderful leading of games and everyone really enjoyed themselves. And we had 4 cool "sisters" that did modelling catwalk for us to enjoy... so nice of them hor.

Everything ended with a sharing by Kuan Loong and though people were real tired by then but they still stayed on. I was the earliest to sleep. Couldn't get a quiet corner in the living room to rest so I sneaked into the study room and sat down in a corner quietly without any lights on at all. Those who walked into the room thought that "Sadako" is there or something.... haha. Well, I was busy reflecting my year that night as well as thinking of my father and some other people in my life. Don't know how is my father doing now. Some other people? Hmm. . . . . . Slept at 2am and woke up at 6am. The first thing I did was to wash my face and get ready for a mahjong session. Hehe I took over Steven while he go and sleep. And I won a total of 2 or 3 rounds. *Can't remember.* Keke it was fun. But for your info we were just playing but no $$ involved at all. :)

Went to watch The Lord Of The Rings with Alex, Jonaphine and Victor in the evening. Before meeting them, I went to meet Jonaphine at Plaza Singapura. She was with Royston and David. Hmm the two brothers from YWAM. Although had a very short time chatting with them, but it's nice to see them. Then after, saw Davin [my enemy-Ti Bak (means pork meat!!... hehe) ] I think must change nick for him liaoz.... Cause he slimmed down so much after going NS, l don't see any double chin for him now lor. Maybe call him "lean meat" will be cool. Or Bak Kwah even better because Chinese New Year is coming!! Haha.
The Lord Of The Rings was a great one!! It was a bit scary but also very touching too. Glad that Arwen and Aragorn came together in the end. That's how my first day of 2004 ended.

Recipe For A Blessed New Year!

Take 12 whole months, clean them thoroughly of all bitterness, hate and jealousy. Make them just as fresh and clean as possible.

Now cut each month into twenty eight, thirty or thirty-one different parts, but don’t make up the whole batch at once. Prepare it one day at a time out of these ingredients.

Mix well into each day one part of faith, one part of patience, one part of courage, and one part of work. Add to each day one part of hope, faithfulness, generosity and kindness. Blend with one part prayer, one part meditation, and one good deed. Season the whole with a dash of good spirits, a sprinkle of fun, a pinch of play, and a cupful of good humour.

Pour all of this into a vessel of love.Cook thoroughly over radiant joy, garnish with a smile, and serve with quietness, unselfishness and cheerfulness.

You’re bound to have a blessed New Year!