The Confident Woman

The Confident Woman
By Joyce Meyer

This week was quite a crazy one. Monday was a mad rush of doing stuff for my colleagues in the office. And Tuesday came and I got to bring my mum to the hospital for a day surgery... a minor one to check her womb.

While I was waiting for my mum, I have decided to take a shuttle bus and go to Novena Square for some shopping etc. However, after walking around, I have decided to sit down somewhere to read the book that someone gave to me since Feb... and I haven't read it at all. So I've decided to give it a go.

I'm not a fan of Joyce Meyer. Never read her books before. I did listen to her sermon once or twice when I was in my previous job in training, but still, I am not the kind of reader that will go for her books.

But this time round, it was really different. It seemed that there are a lot of things she shared in the book really got me thinking. I thought that I heard God's voice so clearly in the book of what she wrote. Of course, I know that there must be a balance in reading and hearing God's voice but the prompting of the Holy Spirit was so strong.

It was just on Monday that I told Alex whether I should just give up studying this year and move on in my normal routine of job etc. I wasn't able to give a clear reasoning on why I want to give up studying (since it has always been my dream...). I told him that I was unsure because I am not sure if intellectually I am able to cope. I am also worried about my physical condition as well as my work load in my job. I am basically worrisome. However, I was not able to recognise that these are basically excuses to feed my fears in my heart. I was just so fearful. I was not confident. We didn't continue to talk about it as I wasn't in my best state, and we left it there and decided to talk about it the next day.

And yes, the next day was exactly the day that I read this book and it was only in the first chapter that God put such deep conviction in my heart, "Do not miss out what I have instored for you." I was absolutely amazed. Sitting at such a noisy Ah Mei cafe at Novena Square during lunch hours, I could hear God speaking so audibly... "Do not give up.."

And yes, I will keep on moving on and not give up.

I was so overjoyed when I know what God has spoken into my spirit and I know that I can move on because He is always with me, backing me up.

2009: It must be God

I can't help but to note this down (maybe becuase I haven't been disciplined to take note of things around me). I should say that God has been very merciful to me in my life. Despite the many personal challenges and testings, His faithfulness has always been there.

At the point when I felt the least of faith in my heart, God has proved me a thousand times wrong. I know that I should have trusted in Him more and more. I should have placed my little mustard seed faith in Him so that the fruit will be even greater.

However, I should still thank Him for all that has happened for the glory of His mighty power. Looking at my life now, it was almost an impossible a year ago. However, God gave me a better job than the previous, colleagues that empower me in my role, a job that seek to serve others more than myself.

It must have been God. It couldn't be coincidental at all. It must be God.

Despite the many faults in me, God still chose to love me and treat me with His tenderness. It is such a shame that I am not returning my love to Him as much as He does for me. Perhaps this is how God exemplifies His wondrous love for us. Our love can never be compared to His and that He has never require us to repay Him in any way.

I am much humbled, really.

And yes, more surprises will be coming my way later this year. I will be expecting God to act in my life.

Lord, here I am, use me.

Down with flu n fever

I can't believe that the flu season is so strong and I go hit by it when I got back from Bintan. In fact, I wasn't feeling well on Monday when I arrived at Bintan. I puked and had fever that very night and followed by diarrhea the next morning after my brekky. The feeling of being ill was tremendously horrendous. Went back to work on Thurs. Everything seems ok. But when Friday came, which I was supposed to run an event, my running nose got worse and I felt giddy and floaty..

I was being asked to go home to rest and my chance to run the event vanished. Thank God that there are a few colleagues that covered me. My boss was really nice to ask me to rest. Rested from Fri to Sun. By Sun (which is ydae), I felt that my headache has not subsided... and I attempted to see the doctor another time... the one near my hse was not H1N1 equipped clinic. Thus, I decided to go to the next nearest one at Causeway Point to see the doc. They nearly sent me to the CDC for checks via ambulance. Thank God that the doctor was wise enough to know that Bintan has not been hit. Or else, I think that I would have stayed at CDC for another 24 hours.

The medication that I took yesterday made me feel better now.

Hope to get back to work tomorrow. :)

At a loss...

Yes... I'm at a loss now. Need God to give me a very clear direction whether to take a Bachelor in Marketing from Swinburne University or University College of Dublin.

Swinburne - 8 modules, finished within 12 months, $14000++
UCD - 12 modules, finished within 18 months, $18000++


I am pretty much for UCD... but am worried about the stress that I got to undergo...

But well, it is time to depend on God for supernatural and divine empowerment once again.

I think my FB kenna banned in Office...

Ok.. now I can't view my FB in office... so I can only blog here... (thank God that I can still blog... :p)

So what now? Fast from FB in the day lor.. :p

Office is moving soon!!

Yeah! My office is going to move this year and we are going to leave the pathetic AMK industrial park soon...

Will be in town for sure and I am certain that it is gonna be somewhere nice!

Hope tt it will be near my school. yeah!

Really really going back to school...

God is really gracious in His rightful timing.

I will be most likely starting school again end of this year. With company's sponsorship, I think I should be able to get a proper degree.

Looking at the many people around me, they have at least a degree or so.

But when I look within me, is this paper qualification so important?

Nope. To me, it is just a paper. However, it is due to the many factors of society pressure that makes this paper such a major. I want to study because I thought that I need to pump in some relevant knowledge and make myself more useful than ever.

At the same time, I know that this degree will be of good in the future, to bring about providence for me and my family.

Afterall, work will be still work. It will only get tougher and more challenging. However, it is just so apt to have a degree and move forward in pace. Not to compare with others, but to compete with myself.

I know that this time round will be such a different story. Because I want to win this battle victoriously.

I may not have parents who help me with the school fees, but I have a God that can answer prayers according to His perfect timing of course.

So, now I have God, work, family, ministry, r/s, friends etc to cope with, I know that life has just started for me. :)

Going back to Choir...

This Sat will be my first audition. Kinda nervous but really rejoicing from within. I have been out of choir ministry for the past 2-3 years. It has been a long and winding journey for me in this ministry. But I think I ought to think about how I can serve God with the little talents that I have instead of whining about other stuff.

I am thinking about what song to sing and this song came to my mind:

In Your Hands

I'm so secure
You're here with me
You stay the same
Your love remains
Here in my heart

So close I believe
You're holding me now
In Your Hands I belong
You'll never let me go

So close I believe
You're holding me now
In Your Hands I belong
You'll never let me go

You gave your life
In Your endless love
You set me free
And showed the way
Now I am found

All along, You were beside me
Even when I could'nt tell
Through the years
You showed me more of You
More of You

Still thinking if this song can do.. see how again... :)

anyway pray for me that this will be a right start, a new beginning and a correct heart once again. :)

WHO raises flu alert level, warns no region is safe

MEXICO CITY: World health officials on Monday stepped up warnings of a possible pandemic of swine flu as governments released millions of antiviral drugs and the number of cases rose, spreading into Europe.

With the likely death toll in Mexico, the epicentre of the outbreak, now standing at 149, the World Health Organisation (WHO) raised its flu pandemic alert level from three to four.

While the increase marked a "significant step towards pandemic influenza, it's also a phase which says we are not there yet," said Keiji Fukuda, acting WHO assistant-general for health, security and the environment.

And he warned "that in this age of global travel where people move around in airplanes so quickly, there is no region to which this virus could not spread."

The number of confirmed cases in the United States doubled to 40 and Britain and Spain both said they had registered patients sick with swine flu, the first in Europe.

UN chief Ban Ki-moon warned the new multi-strain virus, which is believed to be a mix of a human flu virus and an avian flu which first came from swine, risked triggering a global pandemic.

"We are concerned that this virus could cause a new influenza pandemic. It could be mild in its effect or potentially be severe," Ban told reporters.

"We don't know yet which way it will go but we are concerned that in Mexico most of those who died were young and healthy adults."

Influenza caused three epidemics during the 20th century, the worst being the Spanish flu between 1918 and 1919 that killed at least 40 million people, according to the WHO.

Mexico, which was rocked by a 5.6 magnitude earthquake on Monday, said the number of confirmed and suspected deaths from the flu had now risen to 149, as other countries urged against non-essential travel to the tourism hotspot.

Schools across Mexico have been closed until May 6 in a bid to stop the spread of the flu, which has sickened more than 1,600 people.

"We're in the decisive moment of the crisis. The number (of deaths) will continue rising," Health Minister Jose Angel Cordova added.

Europe's first confirmed case was reported in Spain, where 26 suspected cases were being probed, while two people were found to have the disease in Britain and dozens more potential cases were being checked in seven European Union member states.

Fears the disease could further strain the already-embattled global economy gave stock markets the jitters, leading to falls in Europe and Asia, while trading on Wall Street was muted.

And oil prices fell sharply on fears the escalating outbreak could further dampen economic activity and impact energy demand.

Although the US government has declared a public health emergency with 40 cases in five states, President Barack Obama urged calm.

The swine flu outbreak "requires a heightened state of alert, but it is not a cause for alarm," he told a gathering of the National Academy of Sciences.

Richard Besser, acting director of the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), said the affected states of New York, Ohio, Kansas, Texas and California and others were receiving 11 million courses of antiviral drugs.

"The good news is we haven't identified it in additional states. But I wouldn't put too much on that," he added, stressing that of so far most people in the US had only been mildly ill.

Swiss pharmaceutical group Roche said it was ready to send out more stocks of the antiviral medication Tamiflu, some 220 million doses of which are in the hands of governments worldwide.

And British pharmaceutical giant GlaxoSmithKline also said it was "urgently" investigating how to boost production of its antiviral drug Relenza, as the race to develop a direct vaccine for the H1N1 strain gathered pace.

The company has already provided 100,000 packs of the drug to Mexican authorities, along with a further 170,000 doses of its seasonal flu vaccine.

The European Union called emergency talks of health ministers and advised against non-essential travel to areas where the deadly virus has surfaced. The US and Canada were also to issue an advisory warning against "non-essential travel" to Mexico.

Nine people in both New Zealand and Colombia, one in Peru and up to 12 in Canada are under observation with flu symptoms. There have been six confirmed cases in Canada and in the Middle East, a 26-year-old Israeli was also hospitalised. - AFP/de

Those were the days...

As I look at most of the students today, I can only say that they are pretty much fortunate and blessed to have parents that can afford to buy them stuff that we (our generation) might seldom even think of last time.

As the parents' generation get more educated, sophisticated and the earning power increases as well, children's behaviors, needs and demands change and evolves naturally of course. If one parent do not place high value in building a kid's foundation and principles in their own character, I can foresee quite a fair bit of character problems in the future to come.

Thinking back, I ever remembered that life was really poor for me and my family. Now, we are only an average one. To think back, yes, we were once really poor. Going to fastfood restaurants - pizza hut, mcdonalds, KFC, A&W etc was basically once in 10 blue moons? We can't afford to even buy toys. All we (the siblings) could do is to play with our next door neighbours, hoping that they will lend us their toys.

I don't remember eating at MOS burger before till Nicole introduced it to me during my new believer's days. I have not even know what is Orchard Road till I went to my secondary school later on.

My mum and dad will often skip the celebration of birthdays as we were too poor to celebrate. Very often, when I had the slightest desire to just buy a story book that I like during book fairs in school, I will often get the scolding from my mum for asking too much from them.

Working since 13 years old often put me to think that I was not as fortunate as other kids and I missed out a lot during my growing up days. However, I have also gained many priceless learning points when I was working during my secondary school days. I often wonder, what will happen to me if i have not come to know the Lord. I guess that my life will still be quite a rotten and bitter piece. Thinking of which will be the last day for me on this earth, when will I be able to run away from home, just quit my studies and pursue a job that gives me a stable income etc.

Till this day, I can't help but to appreciate God and the people that He sent into my life when I was in my downest times and darkest valleys. The times when I faced many problems at home, no money to pay for my tuition fees during my poly days, when my father was hospitalised for a good 1 year, when I was finding difficulty even to have the money to take transport to school, God sent angels from all over the place to help me cross the hurdles.

Today, as I look back, I need to give thanks to God, be grateful to Him and give unconditionally to others who need help too. I don't think I am considered any high-income earners, but to the best I know how, I will do what I can to bless others. :)

And yes, those were the days... :)

As the forum goes on....

I shall revive the blog with my latest updates here in China, Chengdu.

12-15 degrees celsius
cool weather
warm people
busy schedules
requests, requests and more requests
thankful heart to the Lord
nice and caring overseas colleagues

The trip to Chengdu has taught me many things. Independence. Cross-cultural values. Communication. Love for people. Sensitivity towards others.

Met people from Japan, Korea, China, India, Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, Thailand, Vietnam, Philippines, Nepal, Indonesia, Malaysia... Not my first time meeting so many internationals but first meeting so many non-christian internationals.

It is kind of different you know.

However, I somewhat feel that God is teaching me something different. He is doing a new work in my heart. Taking out some stuff and repairing some parts. Maybe humans should go for servicing once in a while. :P

I'll be back on Tuesday... and yes, time to take a rest when I come back.

Blogging from office...

You must be thinking why am I still at office at such a time... that is simply because I still have a long list of tasks that I have yet to complete and I am running out of time now.

Haven't been blogging regularly for a long while.

Been in quite a mel stage in the recent months.

Don't know what to say here, really.

But all I can say that I am asking God to do a new work in my heart.

what to do, life can be such a complicated and contrast at times.

What's more, people simply make things more confusing. :p

It has been a ....

... long while since I last blogged here. Recently, there were quite a number of changes that took place. I am now an ordinary member in a CG and enjoying to serve with people from all walks of life. However, I believe that whether members or leaders, we all ought to learn to serve and be served. :p

The decision to be a member took a long toil and dilemma in my heart. However, I know what I am in need of and what I need to work on in my life. That's why I took that step.

Now, I am really busy of my work and the load can literally kill me mentally at times. The stress is tremendous and I am still learning to cope. Yes, fixing our eyes on Him is still one of the best ways to be.

Ok, gtg and get my brain cells worked out now.

Ciaos!

Fixing our eyes on the ONE!

It has been a long break after my last entry. It has been a busy 1 month and it is still busy... so many things to handle right now, especially at work. It is tiring.. But what to do? Life still goes on.

Looking around me, I heard that many companies are retrenching... one after another. Or else, it will be getting people to have a 3-day or 4-day work week. So this year, the pro-family thingy is working. No longer 5.5 days but 4 days. *sigh*

Many bad news on the economy in Singapore and around the globe. But we all need to take a firm stand altogether. That is to really fix on our eyes on our Lord Jesus, who is the author and perfector of our faith. If we keep relying on the bad news and negative reports everyday, I think we will soon be sucked dry spiritually, emotionally and mentally. But I do hope that everyone play a part by giving hope to someone that we meet - everyday.

In fact, 2009 will be a year that many will be tested on their faith and perseverance in Christ. Let's really trust God in everything and not be wavered in the temporary.

Together, we can do it!

2 Corinthians 4:16-18, "16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

The Love For Singing vs The Lord For Worship

Mr brain went blank when I wanted to blog about my thoughts just now. What should I write about? Maybe I should just pen down my born passion - singing.

I remembered writing about my love to talk. I have learnt to talk before I learnt to walk when I was a toddler of 2 years old. It is amazing when one learns to talk first... while still crawling and bum-ing around at home. That was me.

However, something that amazed me even more was that love and passion for singing.

My mum shared with me that whenever Tracy Huang (黄莺莺） appears on TV, I will always be the first to sit in front of the TV and listen to her singing. I will too sing along with her as I learn the song. It is always a mystery how I can memorise lyrics without much effort at all. Whenever I watch her singing on TV, I will be so focused that no one can seem to interrupt me... as if I was in a trance.

Slowly, it became a known thing that I simply love to sing. My neighbours will always be playing the "talent-time" competition with me, and we will be the singing contestants. It was so funny when every kid at my block longs to be a singer one day. When I went to Primary School, music lesson will be my most look-forward to lesson. I loved the instruments, the notes and the songs. During my secondary school days, my teacher even listened to my singing and invited me to sing in front of the whole class during a music lesson. That was how I have been growing as a kid into singing and music.

But it didn't stop there. When I came to know the Lord in Hope at the age of 15, I came to realise that God touched me really deeply in worship. I remembered crying out before the Lord when i sang "Shout to the Lord". It was a song that ministered to my heart through and through. From then on, I know that worship is a way that I connect with God most. Of cos, I know that it is not the one and only way but God's Word and prayer is also a must to have in my relationship with Jesus. Therefore, I took time to balance it all up during my initial spiritual growth stages.

Today, I know that singing is no longer just singing. I reckon that worship and singing are two different things. I would say that the passion for singing has been replaced by my passion to worship God in love and His Word. Without God, singing would just be so meaningless. I thank God that He has taught me to live life not just in my emotions but in accordance to what has been given to me through the Holy Spirit.

I love to sing still. But I love to worship God even more.

Of cos, worship is not equal to singing and music. Worship is about living out the words that you sing in a pleasing manner unto the Lord. That is worship.