Monday, July 12, 2010

Never done so much for myself before....

Sitting alone in my hotel room now... thinking about my childhood days, my schooling days, my church days and my now. I never thought that I would be living for myself. I have been living all my life thinking about how to take care of others, how to bring joy to others, how to please other people. It is only now then I realised that I am starting to live for myself.l Not that I am self-centred or what, but I never thought that I can have a life that can know God but yet at the same time know myself.

My shepherd once told me, "I think you ought to start doing something for yourself and stop thinking about others...". I want to tell her that I am finally living for myself. I started to take my degree course (finally...), I started to take my time off to watch movies that I like (not what others like), and I started to discover more about what I am, not others want me to be.

It is such an amazing journey. However, sometimes it can be kind of scary when God starts to reveal much of you to you. There is just this much that you can take isn't it?

Time has passed and now I am going to be 29. I used to think that I will always be 17 or 18 years old. But now 10 years have passed and life is still a journey.. a way longer than I expected. God is faithful and He has never let me down, even though I have. I hope that the up and coming journey will be much more fulfilments than now, that I will allow myself to know God more. Start living for God, start living for me. :D