faithtricia's steps of faith

Saturday, November 29, 2003

BUSY DAY!!

Had the most fruitful Saturday ever since I'm back home.
Well, morning I went to the L'oreal and Maybelline Warehouse sale at Winsland House. Wow, you can see that it's really a mad rush. Everyone is going after what seems to be the best cosmetics sales of the year!! Haha!!Yes, definitely I'm not left behind. I bought so much that I have never imagined!! Hair dyes, lipsticks, lip gloss, eyeshadow, facial products etc.... so fun to shop especially when it is worth the buy. Signages showing "Maybelline Cosmetics - 8 for $10" and "L'oreal Cosmetics - 6 for $10" and " Hair Colour - 5 for $10". Can you imagine that I actually saw some of my ex-poly course-mates and even church-mates there also!! Woah!! When there's good stuff going on, you might even see your long-lost friend... hehe (Just kidding!!)

After that, I went on to eat sushi with my colleague cum good friend @ work. It was a belated birthday treat for her. We ate at Sushi Ondo at Le Meridien hotel. Hmm, the service is not as good as Sakae for sure. At the end of the meal, I told my friend this, "I'll never betray Sakae Sushi again!!" Haha my friend laughed and thought that I'm really corny. Oops.... but ain't I'm like that??

So what happened next?? We went on to shop with the big bags of stuff but feeling satisfied and contented. So after window shopping with my colleague, I continued to meet another person, my shepherd!! Had a great time of sharing of my thoughts and feelings that have been bothering me for the past two to three weeks. Then she gave me a "Yanyan" biscuits ... you know the Meiji brand one... so touched!! Hehe cos my chinese name is Yanyan mah!!

Then the third appointment is to meet my very² good buddy!! She's Weiling!! My sec school buddy till now. We met up, had Ice Blended and tiramisu and chicago cheese cake @ Coffee Bean (wat we call "Kopi Dao" in Hokkien). Had another session of chit chatting and complaints (more for my sake)!! But at the end of the whole session, I know that it is always good to catch up with your buddy once in a while, so that we will share even deeper thoughts isn't it true??? Well, our friendship is not by the number of times we meet up together per week but the number of times that we think of, remember and miss one another per day!! Hehe. So that's my day for Today!! How about yours? Is it fruitful?? Let it be that Jesus blessed your day tomorrow!!

Buaiz.... I'm rushing to plan for some Christmas Eve event. Pray for me!! I need wisdom. ;)

Thursday, November 27, 2003

Was on MC yesterday. My sore throat didn't go away especially after the cookies session on Tuesday. Thus cough and sore throat and the on & off flu stuck with me for the whole of Hari Raya holiday. Went to see a doc yesterday morning. Doc gave 4 different medicine which out of 3 will make me drowsy. Thus, after taking them I was really drown in my sleep. Had a good rest and today I'm back to work liaoz. haha indeed sleeping is never enough for me especially. well, after resting for two days, when i return back to work, there's so many things awaiting for me to accomplish. Indeed, it's kinda scary but challenging as well. Thus I wish that I do my part better too.

Well, this year 2003 is coming to an end and it has been such a meaningful year of transition for me. I have grown and mature more. But come to think of it, I still have lots of areas to change. Yesterday, one of my churchmates corrected, asking me not to be judgemental and bitter against people ard me. I was very very pissed off in the beginning as I find that my reasoning is ok and acceptable. But come to think of it, I think my pride just didn't let me go. Well, perhaps what she said is correct but I hope that she come in a more gentle spirit isn't it?

Hope to plan my 2004 resolutions soon and to fulfil them as well.

Tuesday, November 25, 2003

COOKIES ANYONE??

It's a fruitful holiday!! I went to my fren's house to bake cookies with some of my other friends!! It's really fun man!! Ever since my sec 2 home econs, I haven't baked something till today. It's really so enjoyable. We managed to bake cookies that are nicer than the other team u know! Haven't been enjoying my holiday for very long, esp since the last deepavali holiday that I've spent in Malaysia. It's realli marvellous to be able to spend your hol with your buddies. Well, I've finished my cookies with my mom when I reached home. Then we went to Safra Yishun to play pool and have our dinner. Then we were given a VIP room at the normal rate. Hehe envy right?? Looking forward for Christmas!! Are you??

Sunday, November 23, 2003

I'm sick... not a serious one but have been down with flu, cough and sore throat since last friday. Anyway, hope to receover soon. Or else I can't enjoy my tuesday's public hol liaoz. Pls pray for me. :p

Saturday, November 22, 2003

Dream

Had a real funny dream this morning. It was so real. I actually dreamt of my GM and colleagues!! haha!! funny isn't it?!?! You must be thinking that I'm over-stressed at work or better still, I've just spent too much time with my GM during my stay in Malaysia. But all these are partially correct. The main reason is because of the recent encounter with her.

I remember that it was a wednesday morning. It was around 11am. I was being summoned to go to our company's store to help out in some merchandising stuff. Then the moment I stepped out of the office, I saw my GM at the corridor, busy doing her sms, looked pretty stern. There I was, having a jovial mood, and I greeted her, "Hi *****!!" She looked up, took a glance at me and went on with her sms business, with no intention of greeting me back in courtesy. I was real furious. We walked past and frankly speaking, I was really furious. Don't she know a bit of manners?? Isn't it just a basic courtesy regardless of what position you hold in the company? Even if she's the GM, CEO, Chairman, President, so what? You are still a human. Well, I see no reason why people have to be so stuck up!!

But guess what? When I was having the dream this morning? I actually cried for her. In fear and in compassion. In fear - fierce, unreasonable and unsympathetic at times. Compassion - stress, lost and lonely. God spoke to me at that moment - Pray for her. She needs help spiritually. I prayed with my tears and cries. I pray that she will grow in the Lord and she will change. She will be a testimony to the unbelievers out there. Though no one is perfect, but everyone can always strive to become the better of themselves. This is the second time that I cried for someone in a dream, cried because of compassion. Maybe it's time that I look through my spiritual gifts again.

Love for Mum

Yesterday night, reached home at 10 plus. The moment I stepped into my room, I saw my mum lying on the bed and peeking at me. Haha... she can be quite funny sometimes. :p She has already signed the divorce agreement. But dunnoe about my dad still. But since she's still awake, I began to have a little chat with her. I started to ask her if she wanna go church with me. Then, guess what, she's silent. Not because she's angry but she's thinking, considering and analsying. Then she started her interrogating with lots of questions and doubts that has been in her mind for some time.

I started sharing to her about Jesus and his love for her. I gave her lots of examples and answers, reasons and clarification. She seems pretty convinced. At the end of the conversation, she said, "Maybe bringing Gabriel and Angel (My little nephew and niece) to church will help them live a life of purpose and not be led astray." Keke ... inside of me I'm really rejoicing!! Cause I have won the battle by more than 75%. Now what's coming is to bring her to the mandarin service and also, plan how to connect my family - brother, sister-in-law and my sister to the right church as well. I think it's time. God's timing is here!!

Pray for me that I can be Salt and Light at home and in my office so that I can minister to people, Jesus's flock!!

Monday, November 17, 2003

*Finding Daddy??

Yes finding Daddy?? To find him anot? To call him anot?? These are questions that have been bothering me for the past one week since I came back to Singapore from KL.
I've not seen him for near to two months. I've not heard from him too. How is he doing and is his health ok? I don't know. Nobody in the family bothers to know. He is the outcast of the family, the betrayal of all, the disappointment to many, that includes me as well. To realised and accept the fact that the family is minus one member now is a great hurt to me. Though so many things happened recently, the images of the video and photographs are still replaying within my mind, I am still not able to accept reality.

Is this what life and family supposed to be? Pondering still - to call him anot?? What will I tell him if I call him now? "Are you doing fine?", "How's your health?", "Where are you staying now?", "Found a job already?" ... all these are things I want to know. My mom has already signed the divorce agreement. She showed me the copy of the letter that she asked the lawyer to send to my father. I read and I'm silent. No comments. Tired and speechless. No more persuasion. It's between the two of them. I wish that there's no more intervention. Both have betrayed one another's trust before. Both have let the children down before. Both have caused hurts in the children's lives before. So what's there to defend. It's between them both.

Concerns, regrets and emotion burdens. They tie me down. I wish, I wish and I wish. I wish that God will simply take me back so that I can be freed from all these worries and problems. But no way I can run from these. Cos it's just the very part of the life. These brings about my maturity in Him. I need to grow. I need to focus. I need to be brave and strong. I wish I can.

Thursday, November 13, 2003

Thought(s) for the day.

So hooked on friendster now. I've managed to access and contact many of my long lost friends since sec school till now. I've managed to meet up with my sec school classmate, Sharon yesterday evening. It has been 6 years since I last saw her. She is so different now. A financial consultant with confidence, maturity and professionalism. But nevertheless, when we started talking, we became the same old friends that we used to be. She talks and I listen. (which is seldom the case for me and other friends. Most of the time, I talk and they listen... hehe) Well, it's good to hear from so many many good old friends.

Well, my idea of going friendster is not just contacting back the same old buddies but to bring them to Christ. Everytime, when one knows the Lord, I know that heaven becomes more populated and hell will be less occupied, life becomes full of purpose and less crap, friends u have becomes not just temporal ones but eternal buddies, and u realised that u have a spiritual family that cares and loves u as much as your immediate family members.

The more u know about Jesus, the more u find fulfilment. I'm glad I found him.

Sunday, November 09, 2003

wow. i'm back home now!! for good somemore!! It's amazing how I have finally took the flight back...(what i usually call the tweety transport. keke!!) waking up at 5am (though slept at 1am the previous night) to go to the airport for a 8.15am flight. though i was realli tired but i was excited too...
But on my last day of work in malaysia's office I somehow have a kinda feeling - can't bear to leave my colleagues. though they can be quite unfriendly sometimes... :p but anyway we still enjoy ourselves at times too...

today being my first sunday back in singapore, felt so much at home, but also a bit uncomfortable, it seems that I've not catch up with lots of things in church. well, there's bound to be transition after being away for a period of 2.5 months. but it is definitely good to be able to serve God again!! excited about what God is going to do through me. Let's see what's going to happen man!! Cheerios...

Saturday, November 01, 2003

Saturday - Half-day Work

Haven't work on Saturdays (formally) for the past two months liaoz. Here I am, now, in the office, preparing some documents and flow chart for my company. Guess that when I'm back in Singapore, I would have to go on my job hunt again if I really cannot stay put you know... ... ...

Facing quite a fair bit of unfair treatment in the company. Can't name them one by one but I just know it. Now I don't even know if I can make claims for my S$300 phone bills... not even inclusive of the coming month one... My management is well-known of denying facts... cos they don't have the habit of setting rules in black and white... especially when you are overseas.

I guess that now, only prayers work!! Pray that when I go back I will not have any drastic change lor.

But I do really like to work with my colleagues in this company. Hope that things will turn out right!!