faithtricia's steps of faith

Thursday, August 31, 2006

was sick but better now

It has been a tiring week for me. Was sick since last Friday... but still, i ran out of hse ydae to settle the choir attire... and in the end, i ended up being a merlion when i reached home. feel terrible ydae. realised tt my face now got a lot of pimples and my head is planted with a few more white hair now... haha... it's all symptoms of stress. though the problem has somehow being solved and we are moving on again (at a faster pace), but I still felt that my head is cluttered with many many things. Of cos, these things are simply to say, responsibilities, tasks, roles, commitments, worries, unsatisfied desires, unfulfilled dreams, fears, misunderstandings etc... and the list goes on and on and on...

Went to CG just now. Almost thought that I couldn't make it there. But God is good. I made it there at last. Felt a sense of relieve and comfort when I see my CG mates there. There are so many things to be said but I know that without me saying all these, they will somehow understand me still. It is amazing to be connected by the Holy Spirit. Desmond Law (DL) started off the CG by asking all of us to do a reflection of how the year has been for us so far? What are the goals achieved? Are we closer to fulfilling our resolutions??

I think and think and think... but nothing much came out... but one thing I am very super duper sure... I'm better in controlling my mood swings le. I started this year in a very bad note. But I thank God that Holy Spirit helped me to be firm in letting go of all the negative feelings and mindset, the hurts that I gained and helping me to be firm. If I have not been strong mentally, I think I would have went hay-wire in my emotions, again.

Now, all I ask for is not just to have a strong mind, but also healthy body. I wanna go to North Thailand in Nov, with a good and healthy body. So that the people will not have to take care of me... so that I can take care of myself? haha... I'm still as obstinate as ever... even at times I know I need people to help me, I will still insist to be on my own. That is why a 'strong' girl like me needs to be sensitive at times... cos I always said the wrong words, just because of my 'strong' character. But I am glad of one thing, friends know that I am not that 'strong' and God knows my pretension too. So hor, God is just so amazingly humorous... He has exposed my 'strong character' for a few times liaoz... and He has shown forth this thing in me... I am actually quite weak most of the time...

So why pretend to be strong when I am not?? And why insist that I can do it when I actually can't? haha... silly me!!

Labels: sick

by Tricia at 11:41 PM |