Thursday, June 26, 2008

My Childhood

It was an interesting day today. My shoulders and back were aching very badly and for the most obvious reason, I haven't slept well for the longest period of my life. Thus, my face wasn't showing the best expression after all. And my poor boss, thought that I was moody because of work, asked me if i was ok and even volunteered to go for breakfast with me, so as to fill my hungry body. haha...

Actually, I am really thankful to God for my boss. She is not just a boss or supervisor to me. She is like an elder sister to me. She listens to me, hears me out, identifies with me and share with me her experience. I love to tell her things about my life. I share with her a lot of stuff... And especially today, during lunch, I shared with her about my childhood.

My family has always been not doing well financially. My dad was a gambler, idler, smoker... He used to be working as a newspaper despatch and my bro will have to go to the one of the shophouse nearby to sleep as he need to help my dad in slotting the newspapers sections. But at the shophouse, there wasn't any quiet corner at all. There was constant mahjong games going on and of course my bro cannot rest at all. And he was only in his primary 7-8. I remembered this very vividly because there were nights that I was there as well, at Coronation Plaza, helping my dad out too. As I grew older, I wasn't able to understand why my dad did not consider the well-being of his kids.

And of cos, when family lacks finance and my dad kept picking fights with my mum, my mum will of course be frustrated. Then she will punish us and scold us whenever she feels frustrated by the kids running around in the 2-room flat at home. I remember how she used to tie 2 canes together and caned me till both my legs were swollen with cane marks. She used to ask us to kneel down for 4-5 hours at the door step or at the kitchen, when we were mischievious. (that explains why we didn't study too... hahaha) When kneeling on the floor doesn't help, she will take the beer bottle caps and ask us to kneel on them. Painful as it is, smart as we are, we will obviously not kneel on the sharp edges of the bottle caps. haha..

There was this once that my mum actually slapped in front of my neighbours at the corridor of my hse, just because the neighbour staying beside maligned me of saying something that I didn't say at all. That was a very bad one for me.

If I had not known Christ, I think I will not be able to forgive my mum. There were just too many things to hold against her. Who would expect a 13-yr old girl to start working outside and be bullied by the older colleagues at workplace etc. Who was there to protect and who was there to deliver trust at that point in time? I think God really pulled me out of the storm and brought me to the safe land, helping me to stand firm on my feet and walk on the right path. I could have ended up becoming astrayed also. That possibility was really high.

Will there be forgiveness? Will there be trust?

If not for God, I think I would still be a confused girl going around, looking for friends who can provide security, jobs that could provide stability etc.

I thank God for bringing me from where I was to where I am now. I know that I have thanked God many times but I cannot help but to thank Him again and again and again and again... Till I see Him face to face, I will still keep on thanking Him again...

Thank you Jesus for saving me from the pit. Thank you Lord. :)

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