It's the season of the year again. Christmas. The time to give and the time to share. But why is it that I don't seem to have any Christmas tinkling in me? I may be singing carols sunday after sunday, week after week, CG after CG or better still, coming company's christmas celebration I have to lead carols again, but there's something missing. An element that's missing. I know it, God knows it. So many events coming ahead of me. Many situations in my life that I couldn't figure out the "whys" at all at this moment. Uncertain about the year ahead of me. Time after time, day after day, week after week, month after month, and even year after year, I'm still the same. "Have I grown more?" I often asked myself this question. It's a really BIG question mark in my head right now. I don't want to repeat the cycle of dos and don'ts. Pretty confused at this moment. Not sure of what I really want to do in my life. Life is so unfair. How I wish that I'm not born. Most probably I won't be as confused as now. Well, Christmas can joyful and can be lonely at the same time. So what's mine?