faithtricia's steps of faith

Monday, October 14, 2013

Wait

After a long wait of 3 years plus, since we last applied for our flat, the journey has been long and winding. Our BTO flat is finally coming to an end soon. It has finally reached the final stage of painting, internal installation etc.

Since the construction company started the ground work in May 2011, we have been visiting the site almost every few months or so. The hope to own a place of our own is becoming more and more realistic.

Throughout the last 2 years, there have been countless frustrations, arguments, misunderstandings etc. Living under one roof with my in-laws is indeed not an easy task. The environment is complicated and sometimes, it makes me wonder if they have treated me like one of their own.

Nevertheless, the past 3 years have been an emotional roller coaster for me. The ups and the downs, or should I say that they are mostly downs. And the matter and the fact that I often have this thinking that I have kind of lost faith in people. But well, there is never a day when people can be trusted because we all change along the journey in life. Our values change, our character changes, our personality changes.

I have changed too. I find it really difficult to open up my life to people nowadays. For fear that they will judge me, criticize me, reject me and put me down. It is hard to find one friend who accepts you for who you are.

As one ages, it is suffice to just have that few friends. It will be more than enough. Even if it meant to have one, it will be so great!

And I thank God that He has never treated me like one that is unworthy of Him. He loves and cares for me. I know that I am still in lack of my relationship with Him but He never fails to take opportunities to speak into my life. He is more than able to love me and care for me. What more should I ask?

I need Christ to do a new work in my life. Show me grace to change for the better. Loving people is simply tough but if Christ has shown me that He has loved me, I will try my best to love His lost sheep back.